“Ask what they’re coming into the date with and how they’re feeling,” she says. Castañeda-Selva also recommends to start each virtual date with a vibe check. When you’re settling down for a virtual date, make sure you’ve got your set up straightened out and any distractions (ahem, your phone) out of sight, out of mind so you can be fully present. It’ll ease tension and give your partner space to share their discomforts, too. And if your nerves threaten to get the best of you while the video connects? Just name the feeling, she says. “These dates aren’t interviews, even though sometimes there’s a semblance of that since we spend so much time on Zoom for work,” Castañeda-Selva says. What about the pressure to make these virtual dates *perfect*? It’s a trap. “Everything feels really charged right now, so a lot of the time we see these virtual dates as an opportunity for normalcy.” “These dates aren’t normal, but there’s no reason that they shouldn’t be fun,” says Myra Castañeda-Selva, LMFT, co-founder of Amity Chicago. You have to work with what you got, especially if you’re in a long-distance relationship. Sure, not much-not even a body pillow-can replicate your partner’s loving embrace, but it’s totally possible to feel all warm and fuzzy during quality virtual time. OK, so maybe the latter doesn’t drum up the same kind of butterflies, but these virtual date ideas will. When you think “date,” visions of bumping shoulders on a walk to the park, reaching over candlelight to nab a forkful of their cacio e pepe, and typing in the Zoom passcode probably dance in your head.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |